A purpose driven life: 7 ways to find the right direction in life when feeling lost.
Feeling a little lost in life is a fairly common experience for many of those people who come to us both here at Vitalis and our sister company Inner Pilgrim. The lack-lustre feeling of rudderlessness, going through the motions and not really having a clear sense of purpose can be mind and soul numbing. It’s easy for apathy to become a familiar state, where we drift through the days perhaps doing a lot, but feeling that we haven’t accomplished anything of real note.
Perhaps life is not bad, others looking in via the Facebook or Instagram feed might covet your daily doings and you can convince yourself that there’s not that much to complain about.. Yet still there’s the niggle that something is missing, that there must be more to life than this.
There is a sense of misalignment between what’s going on on the outside in our daily doings, and the wishes or longings of our heart and soul. This conflict can be painful and the friction creates an overall doubt and confusion. Am I in the wrong job, wrong country, or even in the wrong human company?
Enjoy reading, we have gathered seven simple yet profound suggestions for you that we know from our experience really do help make that shift towards greater purpose, meaning and fulfilment.
How to live a purpose driven life?
Signs it might be time to explore a more fulfilling direction in life.
If we’ve been in this mode for a while, we might notice physical symptoms arising that nudge us towards an awareness that we are not as well, not as vibrant, not firing on all cylinders as we might used or want to be. Perhaps we don’t feel rested when we wake, suffer from low grade headaches, achy joints, and are more susceptible to aches, pains and strains than we might have been in the past. Virusses and bugs that might have previously passed us by seem to take a more tenacious hold, meaning days when we just don’t feel well are becoming more frequent.
As humans we are meaning seeking, purpose driven and fulfilment-hungry by nature, so over time all of this landscape of mild satisfaction grows into a visceral need for change. We might start to question our significant relationships, our living situation, our work. Am I with the right person or how do I find my soulmate? Is my current career still right for me? Should I be travelling? Volunteer more? Do I want children? Where should I be living now? Change can feel daunting and discerning the right direction can be wholly overwhelming in isolation.
Many of us struggle with making decisions that might seem right for us on one level but may be difficult for others. Finding the balance between our duty to family or work and other values that conflict almost as if there is a battle between loyalty and responsibility vs authenticity and true purpose. This is a battle that takes a fair bit of courage to fight.
What often happens is we remain stuck in a place of in-between in a no man's land of indecision just going through the motions.
Worry not. If you are experiencing no clear direction in life, try these best coaching strategies.
Proven coaching lessons how to find the right direction in your life
Seven simple yet profound ways to find direction in life and get unstuck when feeling lost
There are many ways to get unstuck and, whilst some people experience profound light bulb moments of realisation and paradigm shifts that prompt a rapid reset and clarity, for many of us it’s a journey. One of exploration, gradual realisations and incremental changes and decisions that gradually create the much needed confidence and momentum to move us forwards.
Here are 7 simple suggestions that we know from our experience really do help make that shift towards greater purpose, meaning and fulfilment:
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It is designed to bring you more clarity and direction to help you feel more relaxed and in control of your life so that you can begin to make decisions with more confidence. You can access the free coaching exercise here.
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Sit with your unpleasant feelings.
Giving space to those emotions, allowing them to exist, acknowledging them, accepting them and giving them permission to be there can often be a powerful way to allow them to gently shift. It may seem a little counter-intuitive or raise concerns that by ‘wallowing’ in the feelings you will simply create more of the same, but ancient wisdom teaches us otherwise. In the same way that giving some compassionate focus to a toddler who is playing up and vying for some attention, those stressful feelings can lose their grip and intensity just by being given some priority, and life can continue more peacefully.
Find a space where you can be undisturbed. Settle yourself comfortably, perhaps close your eyes, take a few breaths deep into your belly and bring your awareness into the present moment and scan how your body feels. Notice any areas of tension or holding, and breathe, relax. Check in with your emotional inner landscape. How do you feel? Can you name those feelings that arise when you pay attention to them? Notice any resistance to the feeling, any attempt to push it away and instead warmly welcome it’s right to be there. This is how you feel and that’s ok. There’s no need to try and change it, just allow it to be there, notice how it feels in your body and invite a quality of warmth, perhaps in the same way you would if a child was coming to you with something difficult, no need to chastise just simply accompany. A few moments of this and you will begin to notice that a feeling doesn’t persist in the same way for very long. It’s shifting, changing, impermanent. Observing your inner landscape in this way without judgement can provide a level of reassurance that things will shift and you’re not as stuck as you might think.
Contemplating on three purpose finding questions.
This can be done as a journaling exercise, just note down your various thoughts in response or draw them within a venn diagram, the sweet spot in the middle when the answers converge is your zone of purpose.
What do I most profoundly love?
What are my greatest gifts and talents?
Who do I wish to serve?
If you want to connect more deeply with your inner voice then a daily journalling practice can really help, Read more, including several other writing prompts, in our post on journalling for your inner critic.
Connect with your Inner Compass - a free exercise from Inner pilgrim.
The Inner Compass is a four step process designed to bring your more clarity on your path in four simple steps. It will enable you to connect with your current situation more clearly, identify what you desire, identify what’s getting in the way and explore creative solutions to help move you forwards.
Embarking on a new path with unknown territory is often a little intimidating, and discovering your own compass to point you in the right direction in your life’s journey brings clarity, calm and confidence. To create your own Inner Compass visit Inner Pilgrim and start straight away.
Your Inner Compass: Turn inwards and connect with your intuitive knowing.
Consult your body wisdom.
If you have a decision to make there is a simple way to access your body wisdom to help discern the most aligned way forwards. It may be a little airy fairy for some, but could help shed some light and for the few moments it takes can provide a level of helpful insight. If you have a choice to make, the process is simple.
Stand comfortably, settle yourself in the present moment, take a few breaths and relax. Then simply hold an option in mind or visualise that outcome in front of you. As if your body was a pendulum or barometer, notice any movement or sway either towards or away from your choice. A movement towards indicates a yes, and away indicates a no. An even simpler option of this is to do a simple coin toss to make your decision and then notice your reaction to the result. It can often be a quick and dirty way to uncover latent feelings that can be helpful in determining your way forwards.
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If you are ready to step things up and make a small financial investment then Find Your Path is an inspirational online course to help you walk your own path with compassion and confidence. You can find out more here, and enjoy step-by-step guidance how to choose your path in life.
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Go value hunting with the help of life coaching.
Understanding your motivations, what matters to you and finding ‘your bigger why’ can greatly help in uncovering your deeper drivers. With these in hand we can start to prioritise life to meet those values which will ultimately drive greater purpose and fulfilment. Even if you have elicited your values before, this is worth revisiting as priorities shift over time and reconnecting with and committing to what matters most is a gift to yourself at any time.
Ask yourself, what’s important to me… Allow yourself to capture everything that comes to mind. Consider all aspects of your life and relationships. If you’re struggling for the words to define what’s important there are a couple of jumping off points that might be helpful:
You might like to think about significant or positively meaningful moments in your life, what made them particularly special?
Perhaps consider a significant interaction that was particularly difficult… What was being challenged in you? The chances are this points to a conflict of values between you and the other person or a core personal value that was being challenged in you.
Consider what you stand for or stand against, those topics that mean you absolutely can’t sit on the fence, these will often point to a core value. Finally look at what you spend your money on, are you keen on saving pennies or do you find you spend on entertainment and going out, the former might point to a value of security versus one of enjoyment or connection with others for example.
Marshal Rosenberg, the originator of Nonviolent Communication, suggests that there are nine universal basic human needs. These can also be a good starting place to drill down to the values that sit beneath them. The nine core needs are defined as Sustenance, Safety, Love, Understanding, Creativity, Recreation, Sense of Belonging, Autonomy and Meaning.
I wonder what these unlock for you as you explore your own relationship to them?
No direction in life?
try these seven best life coaching strategies.
The purpose driven life by Rick Warren
For further inspiration you might like to read Rick Warren’s book The Purpose Driven Life. He’s a priest who wrote a book called "Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?". As you can guess, the book has a religious context, but regardless of your affiliation (if any), his advice is applicable to us all. You might also take a moment to watch his Ted Talk: www.ted.com/talks/rick_warren_a_life_of_purpose. I trust you’ll love it.
