Cultivating a Spiritual Practice, easy guidance for busy people
A spiritual practice can seem like an airy fairy concept for some, easily dismissed as being for people of a more hippy persuasion or those firmly dedicated to the path of enlightenment. But the benefits for more secular folk are many, particularly those of us who lead busy lives of responsibility, with commitments to meet and the pressure to succeed in the modern world.
I am often asked how to go about cultivating a spiritual practice and as someone whose practice has evolved and deepened over the years I know it is a very personal journey. It can be quite overwhelming to not only understand the value of carving out time for this work, but also where to begin and how to get yourself off to the best possible start.
In today’s blog I explore the value of a spiritual practice, what it means to have one, and I share my own personal favourites with you. Enjoy reading!
Nourishing spiritual practises to begin today, also for non “spiritual” folk
Old Beatles Ashram - India
Live more on purpose, find deeper meaning
For me, spiritual practice is about living in morality. It is a way to connect with our basic goodness and to live from that place of ethics. Spiritual practice is not primarily about relaxing, feeling calm or being happy although those can be helpful and much appreciated side effects. An effective spiritual practice is the foundation of a life that isn’t only focussed on the material aspects of our outer world, but instead about living a life in alignment with our inner world, a life of higher purpose and meaning, and one that is deeply fulfilling.
Essentially, spiritual practise is about taming the unhelpful habits in our mind and turning it towards our basic goodness. For me it comes from an understanding that our fundamental nature is one of wholeness, love and wisdom. Ultimately it is about living a life of ethics, filled with kindness for oneself and others. Not just in our actions, but also in our mind: to have thoughts and feelings which spring forth from compassion. And in order to transform our unkind habits, we need to have the calm and awareness to capture them! And that’s where meditation comes in :)
Cope differently with the challenges of life
A spiritual practice is fundamentally a way to ground ourselves in the present moment and find a way to cope with the realities of life. It enables us to create a connection to something greater than ourselves which can be just the energy we need to pull us through difficult times and feelings of anxiety, isolation or lack of purpose.
The foundation of a spiritual practice, one tailored to our unique circumstances and with clear purpose, can provide a strong root that holds us fast in an ever-changing world where little is certain and we can be destabilised by so much that is out of our control.
It’s not that people who embrace a spiritual path have less challenges in their life. But it does give painful circumstances a new dimension. It’s not just about ‘how do I overcome, fight or cope with this obstacle’, but instead about ‘how can I take this onto my spiritual path, and use this challenge to grow qualities like patience, empathy, forgiveness or surrender?’ This way of looking at things allows for meaning to arise from life’s struggles.
Stone “caves” for meditation practice
Abandoned in the 1990s, but still visited by spiritual seekers from all over the world.
A joy not a burden
The differentiator between a spiritual practice and a set of other exercises for personal development or fitness for example, is that the qualities of inner exploration, a deeper connection to something greater than yourself and a ritual that encourages mindfulness and reflection are present.
A spiritual practice isn’t something that should feel like a burden, just another addition to a growing to-do-list of responsibilities, but rather an opportunity to spend time with yourself and for yourself. A beneficial spiritual practice is one free from shame or guilt and over time enables you to develop a foundation of loving kindness, mindfulness and ultimately equanimity.
Below I share a list of spiritual practices with you, and I’d love to hear which one resonates with you most!
What constitutes a spiritual practice
What is the meaning of having a spiritually based practice?
What makes a spiritual practice varies widely and that is part of the joy. There are infinite possibilities to craft something bespoke and beautiful that perfectly meets your own needs. Whatever your practice looks like, essentially it is a set of exercises and rituals that allows you to deepen your awareness and connection; to yourself, to others and to the energy of life of which we are all part. There is no need for religious affiliation, a belief in reincarnation, or even to be clear about your own view on the nature of life, what’s beyond life and death, reality and consciousness, just a willingness to show up regularly, to explore and grow.
When you have chosen the content of your practice it can be helpful to wrap it up in a lovely bow so to speak, one that provides a safe and spiritual container for you and brings a sense of ceremony or ritual.
Your practice might begin with creating a sense of sacred space. Allocate a chair or cushion in a corner of a room or garden that you choose to reserve for your practice. Dedicating the same spot each day creates positive feelings of association with that space of peace, quiet and hopefully wellbeing and is a way of recognising its importance to you. Having a very simple ritual to indicate the start and end of your practice helps to bring an intention of awareness to your practice. To begin, perhaps wash your hands or face mindfully, wrap yourself in a shawl or blanket, light a candle and incense or take a few deep mindful breaths. It doesn’t have to be complex, just something that signifies a shift into a different headspace and energy. To close, sounding a bell or gong or simply blowing out your candle can be enough.
An effective spiritual practice is the foundation of a spiritual life, one that is essentially about living a life of purpose and meaning, one that is deeply fulfilling and that is my sincere wish for us all.
Cultivating Spirituality
The three S’s of a successful spiritual practice
If this is your first exploration of building a spiritual practice into your life then the key to a practice that will endure for you particularly if time is short, is to keep it short, sweet and simple.
Short, so it doesn’t compete with other demands and you can make it consistent and regular.
Sweet, so that it is both enjoyable to do in the moment and that you feel the cumulative benefits, and
Simple enough that it is portable, adaptable and memorable.
The practicalities of establishing a regular spiritual practice for everyday life.
We do need to find uninterrupted time for spiritual practice, so be realistic. How much time can you realistically carve out for yourself before the demands of work, family or other pressures intrude?
Create a rhythm, not a schedule
Establishing any new routine can be challenging. It can help to set your activity into your daily rhythm at the same point each day. Not necessarily at the same time so that it feels scheduled, but at the same point in the flow of your day. For example ‘upon waking’, which allows flexibility, rather than ‘7am every morning’ which can feel like a chore on slower days.
Ground your practice in the real world
Make some element of it screen-free if you can. Making your practice analogue rather than wholly digital in nature makes a lot of sense. Whilst hopping on the phone or laptop to do a guided meditation or take an online course can absolutely provide a foundation for or support a wider practice, the connection to ourselves that is possible when we step away from technology and into the real rather than virtual world can be so much more profound.
What to include in your spiritual practice?
Your practice can have a base in established spirituality like Buddhism, Zen or Taoism for example, or it can be something you create from your own inspiration. As long as it incorporates those key qualities of inner exploration and reflection to deepen awareness, ritual and mindfulness. You might love to include something creative as well!
Drawing on Ancient wisdom: Yogic Philosophy
Let’s take an example from Yogic Philosophy, in this tradition there are four spiritual paths that we can use as a basis for guiding your own practice. These are Karma Yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Raja Yoga and Jnana Yoga:
Karma Yoga is about service and correct or selfless action. In this practice the welfare of others is paramount. So this might simply be a dedicated act of service each day to someone in your community. The key is that it is not transactional, but rather an offering of generosity (which can be time, material goods, or an act of kindness) that does not directly benefit you.
Bhakti Yoga is a practice of devotion, it recognises the divine in everything and often the focus is on a deity. There are many options to turn your attention to in for example the Greek, Roman, tribal, Hindu, Buddhist etc. If you were to include this you might recite prayers of thanks or adoration, if not to a specific deity then perhaps to the earth, the sun and moon, spirit animals, shamanic guides or the energy of life itself.
Raja Yoga is the path of meditation. Mindfulness and stillness are the emphasis here, so this practice would involve a daily ‘sit’ where your attention may be on mindful breathing or paying attention to an external object like a candle flame or an image of a deity to build focus and stillness.
Jnana Yoga is the way of wisdom and this practice often involves study and contemplation. Reading ancient texts or words of wisdom that you then reflect or journal on would be the bedrock of your practice. You can do it in a group too and debate the different subjects together to gain a deeper understanding.
For inspiration you might like to read this inspiring and thought-provoking blog on the best spiritual books to read.
Metta Meditation - a simple daily spiritual practice for beginners
Turning to Buddhism, the practice of Metta Meditation is a beautiful way to connect with the energy of loving kindness and just ten minutes a day can provide a very rewarding practice that helps build our muscle of compassion and kindness to ourselves and others. It originates from the Buddha's early discourse on immeasurable friendliness, the Metta Sutta. The practice is very simple.
To practise Metta, find a quiet place where you can be free from interruption and find a comfortable sitting posture, preferably where you can relax but have your spine straight. Allow your eyes to close if you wish or find a restful gaze with eyes lowered. Take a few long calming breaths and centre yourself in the present moment.
Step one: Begin with compassion for yourself
First turn your attention to yourself, you might simply become aware of your body and your breathing or you might hold an image of yourself in your mind looking well and happy. Either aloud or in your inner voice offer this blessing to yourself: “May you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering” or some other form of words with that sentiment that feels right to you. The words matter less than the intention. It is about developing a loving attitude towards ourselves and others.
Repeat several times and relax into the feeling of compassion and love that it generates, notice how it feels in your body to wish yourself well and to offer yourself deep compassion.
Step two: Turn your kindness to a loved one
Next, turn your attention to a friend or loved one, again holding them in heart and mind, perhaps visualising them in their fullest expression of health and happiness and repeat your blessing: “May you be well, may you be happy, may you be free from suffering” repeat this a few times actively sending loving energy from your heart to that person as you offer them your wish. You may, as I do, find that another friend or loved one naturally comes to mind and you can repeat the offering to them.
step three: Consider a challenging relationship
Next we move on to someone perhaps who you have a challenging or difficult relationship with or who might be harder for you to naturally summon those feelings of love and compassion. Repeat your mantra holding them in heart and mind as you do.
Just to be clear, this does not need to mean you forgive someone for their behaviours towards you, or that you condone being treated in a certain way. It means that you realise how confused they are for behaving the way they do or did. And that you send them your compassion in the hope they understand that in order for them to be truly happy and free of suffering, they have to live according to a basic foundation of ethics and morality. By sending them kindness, you increase the peacefulness inside of yourself.
Step four: Turn to the wider world
I also like to complete the practice by holding the world at large in heart and mind, all the human and non-human souls, the plants, the creatures of the earth, air and sea and send out that energy of love and compassion via the mantra. You might at this stage like to focus on a particular country, cause or community as a whole. There is no right or wrong, let your own intuition guide you.
It may feel a little trite at first perhaps as if nothing is really being achieved but with some dedication this really can be a very beautiful offering to yourself and the world that can leave us with a feeling of peacefulness and ‘all-is-right-ness’ that can work wonders on many levels seen and unseen.
Increased happiness and optimism
Gratitude, a spiritual practice for everyday life
In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness, so including gratitude in your daily practice can be wholly beneficial.
Simply journaling for five minutes a day about what we are grateful for can enhance our long-term happiness by over 10% (Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005: https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-happiness-research).
This very simple tool can also increase our optimism. Regular gratitude journaling has been shown to result in 5% to 15% increases in optimism (Amin, 2014). Including this in your daily rhythm can be as simple as writing a list of three new things each day you are grateful for, the key is to get into the feeling of gratitude. Let it resonate in your body, it’s not a tick-box exercise, but rather an opportunity to reflect deeply on those things we might take for granted and offer thanks for them.
Tara’s Triple Excellence
And this is my own spiritual practice…
My own spiritual practice is grounded in Tara’s Triple Excellence, a daily online Buddhist meditation course based on Green Tara, the goddess of compassion in action.
"Tara’s Triple Excellence is a unique online Tibetan Buddhist meditation program guiding you on the entire path to enlightenment. So needed in today’s unpredictable world, Tara’s Triple Excellence is structured to provide you with twice daily guidance and meditation instruction leading to loving kindness, compassion, and profound wisdom. If you would like to embody the Buddha’s wisdom and awaken to your own potential, attaining a degree of fulfilment that far surpasses what we as ordinary beings can imagine, then Tara’s Triple Excellence might be a wonderful spiritual practice for you too."
You can find more details about this practice here: https://dharmasun.org/tte. Photo, with gratitude: Dharmasun.
Two steps to deepen your spiritual practice
Ideally our practice is not something isolated to a few minutes a day, but one that is woven into the fabric of our everyday existence and also something that we carve out greater time and energy for. Here are two ways to deepen your spiritual practice in order to strengthen your inner peace and love.
Spiritual Life Coaching & Therapy
Working with an experienced Spiritual Life Coach & Therapist can be a powerful tool for exploring your inner landscape in more depth. Working with a skilled practitioner who has been on their own spiritual journey can be a helpful way to reframe life’s challenges to a new perspective that brings more meaning and purpose to what would otherwise only be a painful episode in our life. It also offer a framework for making decisions that move us closer to our true nature or calling.
To explore how this might work for you, please visit our Spiritual Life Coaching offering:
Going on spiritual retreat
Carving out a few days to attend a meditation course or retreat is a wonderful way to build the muscle of focus, concentration and stillness. It can also provide great opportunities to connect with others exploring a similar path. Dedicating several uninterrupted days to this practice can accelerate your understanding and move you forward in a way not always possible with just a few minutes a day. Choosing a retreat with an established teacher is recommended as prolonged mediation can bring up some unfamiliar emotions or insights and it is helpful to have good support to process these. Ask around and do your research so you are in the safe hands of the highest calibre of teachers. Feel free to email me and ask for recommendations!
However you choose to proceed, taking the time to develop a spiritual practice that works for you can be a wholly rewarding and ultimately enlightening experience.
I delight in sharing my experience with others and am always open to supporting you wherever you are on your path. If you’d like a conversation about how we might go on this journey together please do get in touch.
Photo’s taken by my sister Inge Peeters in Rishikesh, at Chaurasi Kutia or ‘Beatles Ashram’ - India.