Seven ways to Soothe
How to calm and regulate your nervous system?
The way life is lived for many of us these days means our nervous system is often in constant ready mode, waiting for the next assault. We humans might not be out on the plains battling sabre tooth tigers like our ancestral predecessors but to our brains and bodies, which haven’t evolved to cope with modern stressors, it feels the same.
The pace of life leaves us little time to recover and whether we consciously acknowledge it or not, most of us live in an almost constant state of near and present danger.
If we want to give ourselves the best opportunity to not just survive, but thrive, keeping our nervous system well regulated is key.
In a recent post on Polyvagal Therapy we explored the importance of maintaining a well regulated nervous system.
Here I’m offering seven simple ways to take care of your dysregulated nervous system in your day to day. I invite you to try these with an attitude of gentle curiosity and delight in finding your own ways to soothe in the everyday.
Seven simple yet profound ways to calm and regulate your nervous system
Connect with nature.
Nature is a natural regulator for us humans. Away from the loud noises, harsh angles and hard forms of our concrete and artificial world, nature is literally designed to soothe us. Each of us will have our preferred natural environment, the one that we most resonate with: a pine forest, an ancient woodland, an alpine mountainscape, soft green rolling hills, a rugged coastline, a sandy beach, a lakeside, waterfall, river bank, wild meadow, country garden….
To really connect, take a little time, kick off your shoes and get barefoot. Let your eyes wander over the forms and colours, breathe deep and let the earth take the weight off for a while. Mother Nature has pretty broad shoulders so you can put down your troubles for a moment and let her work her soothing magic.
Cocoon yourself.
When our nervous system is overloaded we need to give physical signals to the body that it is safe. Our first felt sense of safety came when we were preverbal, before birth even when we were cocooned in the safety of the womb. Finding a way to replicate that in a way that speaks for you can give your body a few moments to recover.
Switch off your devices, lower the lights, find a warm comfortable preferably small and quiet place to sit or lie, and wrap up in a blanket or duvet (weighted ones can work particularly well. If those are not available, putting a heavy book on your chest works really well too). Gently rock or sway, breathe deep in your belly and let go for a moment.
Soothe with Sound.
Singing or sound making is particularly beneficial for building good vagal tone in the vagus nerve. The Vagus Nerve that we talked about in our post on Polyvagal Theory, is an important aspect of our regulation system. From loud expressive vocals that encourage deep diaphragmatic breathing and increase blood flow and the release of endorphins to the soothing calming effect of a hum or repeated mantra, sound is a healing tool we carry with us all the time.
Listening to binaural beats or music at the frequency of 89hz is also particularly soothing for the nervous system and kicks the body into its parasympathetic, rest and digest response.
Treat your skin.
Our skin is the largest organ of the body and contains an incredible number of sensory receptors. The benefits of skin to skin contact for babies and young children are well known and those benefits don’t stop in childhood. If you’re lucky enough to have a well regulated friend (in terms of their nervous system, and their emotions), partner or child that you can share skin to skin contact with, it’s a wonderful way to soothe.
Likewise massage has infinite advantages. If you can take yourself off to enjoy a massage from a therapist then great, but if that’s not available to you then self massage is a beautiful option. Adding aromatherapy oils, soothing shea butter or coconut oil (anything that delights your senses) is a bonus. Massaging your own hands and feet can be made into a soothing ritual of self care and self love, reminding you that you are worthy of time and attention.
Breathe yourself better.
The breath acts as a direct way into your parasympathetic nervous system. When we take deliberate long, slow deep breaths it sends signals of safety to our brain that starts to kick in that rest and digest system. Three calm and conscious breaths whenever we start to notice signs of becoming unregulated can be enough to bring us back to safety and prevent us tipping into an unhelpful fight or flight response.
Breathe well and breathe often. It’s the simplest way to soothe.
Soothe with a smile.
Just as we smile involuntarily when we are amused or happy, at ease or sociable, a smile can work backwards. Even if you don’t feel it, allowing a smile to slide gently onto your face, letting that flow up to your eyes, down to your shoulders so they relax a little and feeling that smile from the inside can start to lift the mood and edge us closer to a more regulated and available state.
This bundle of meditations has a wonderful track about finding your ‘Inner Smile’. Purchase today and start to feel more joy straight away:
Sit to soothe.
A sit spot is a little place, usually in nature or with a pleasant view of the outdoors, that over regular use we come to associate with comfort and peace of mind. Combine your favourite chair, log stump in the garden or swing seat with a few moments of mindful awareness and you’ll soon feel the benefit.
While sitting, preferably in solitude without the distraction of devices, let your eyes rest gently on something pleasant. Feel the air on your skin, pay attention to the sounds around you and let things settle. Just five minutes of mindful sitting can give the nervous system the space it needs to begin to come back a more regulated state.
Calming your nervous system
So let’s do a quick check-in together.
If you haven’t read our other blog on Polyvagal Theory yet, have a look as it will make you look at your stress responses in a totally different way.
Then ask yourself the following questions: What are your particular physical symptoms of nervous system dysregulation and what do you notice first? Perhaps your breathing changes, perhaps you become aware of a rise or fall in body temperature or the amount of energy you feel? Perhaps your mood is the first thing you notice? Your willingness to engage with others?
Finally how does it feel for you to be well regulated? What do you notice in your body, your emotions and your thoughts when you feel safe and available to engage? What environments feel soothing and safe for you and which people have a calming and relaxing effect?
Having reflected on all that, I wonder if there is just one simple thing that springs to mind for you as a way to take a little more care of your nervous system day to day.
