How does your body respond to stress?
Polyvagal Theory, our autonomic nervous system and the importance of emotional self-regulation for a calm and connected life.
Isn’t it frustrating to be a slave to the involuntary impulses of your body and brain when you find yourself in difficult situations? That you are anxious or angry, and you don’t snap out of it, you simply can’t? Today we will help you understand what is happening in your biology, and bring compassion to your experience. Let’s dive into the world of your nervous system and Polyvagal Theory, and increase your understanding of how your body is wired to instinctively deal with stress and (perceived) danger.
When it comes to navigating life with more ease, riding the emotional waves and coping with challenges, having a fundamental understanding of your triggers, and how your nervous system operates, is extremely helpful.
So if you’re curious about what happens in your body during stressful situations and would like an opportunity to explore how your own nervous system works and learn more about Polyvagal Theory, happy reading!
The way life is lived for many of us these days means our nervous systems are often in constant ready mode, waiting for the next source of stress. We might not be out on the plains battling sabre tooth tigers like our ancestral predecessors, but to our brains and bodies, which haven’t evolved to cope with modern stressors, it feels the same.
Our pace of life leaves us little time to recover and whether we consciously acknowledge it or not, most of us live in an almost constant state of anxiety. Which to our nervous system feels like near and present danger, as neurobiologically we cannot distinguish between an angry urgent email from our boss, a troubling incident with our child, or the threat of a tiger. To our bodies it’s the same, and our responses are hard wired, instinctive and primal.
Advancements in science over the last few decades mean we now have a much greater understanding of what it means to be human from a neurobiological perspective.
In this blog I hope you’ll allow me to share some of that understanding. We’ll take a walk through Polyvagal Theory / Therapy and get more intimately acquainted with our wonderful nervous system. In case you’re wondering why I’m advocating you take the time to do this at all, the answer is simple:
“To function well in the world and stay sane whilst doing it, every one of us needs to be able to regulate their emotions.”
- Karin Peeters -
Nervous System Regulation
If this is new terminology to you, you can think of it as self-soothing, the ability to manage your emotions, keep your temper in check, overcome feelings of overwhelm and panic, avoid needing to run and hide or jump into people pleasing just because it’s your habitual response.
Interested in working together to soothe your nervous system?
Benefits of a regulated autonomic nervous system (ANS)
When we are regulated (from a nervous system point of view) we generally ‘do’ life much better: We are able to make calm, considered decisions, we are able to connect well with others, we are able to enjoy the little (and the big) things in life with more gusto. Our autonomic nervous system (ANS) controls our involuntary body functions, such as blood pressure, digestion and heart rate.
I have found for myself that having a deeper understanding of what is actually happening in my body when I struggle to cope has been so valuable. It gives me a framework to make sense of things that alleviates some of the shame and guilt that arises in me when I get emotionally overwhelmed… there’s a simple scientific explanation for why and how this is happening and it’s not ‘my fault’. It has also given me short cuts to coping as I know what strategies will be most effective, meaning I spend less time in the painful places and can find my way to firmer ground more quickly and easily.
Having a generally well-regulated autonomic nervous system also provides significant benefits outside of the relational and emotional.
When our nervous system is in good regulation it allows us to access restorative sleep, decrease inflammation - which is a primary cause of all sorts of chronic illness, and is involved in memory, learning, controlling sensory processing and a whole load more.
When we have no time to rest or restore and come back to a place of psychological and physical safety our bodies and minds pay the price.
When we become dysregulated it puts the body under stress and, if sustained, leaves us open to more chronic effects. Over time it takes its toll on our adrenals, on our digestive systems, our hormone balance and myriad other functions. Stress lowers immunity, impacts on sleep quality which in turn affects our brain health. All in all it’s an unhealthy way to be for mind, body and spirit.
The bottom line is that maintaining good regulation of our nervous system is a good thing and puts us in a place of being much more likely to be physically, mentally and emotionally resilient.
“Only when we are in a calm physiological state can we convey cues of safety to another.”
Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory)
your Autonomic nervous system explained
What is Polyvagal Theory / Therapy (PVT)?
Polyvagal Theory (PVT) was developed by Stephen Porgess in the late 90's from his study of the vagus nerve (see below). Polyvagal Theory importantly explains how what’s happening in our bodies influences our behaviour and feeling states, and thus, our ability to interact with other people. It helps you understand and manage how your body responds to trauma, anxiety and stress. Polyvagal Therapy focuses on regulating our emotions and behaviours, social connection and fear response.
Dysregulation and regulation of the automatic nervous system happens by way of a dance between the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) and the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS):
The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) arouses the body and readies us for action, it’s also responsible for our fight (anger), flight (fear), freeze (if fight or flight is no option, wired but tired) and fawn (people pleasing / appease) response. It dominates in times of exertion and arousal, and in times of stress.
The Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) takes care of the automatic processes in the body that we don’t have to think about: digestion, heart rate, respiration/breathing etc. It’s fundamentally about energy conservation and waste elimination, hence its slightly oversimplified pet name as the “rest and digest” system. It’s dominant when we feel relaxed, nourished or in deep connection with a loved one.
The process of regulating our emotions and physical responses is both complex and very simple, and the theory of our Polyvagal System offers us a great lens through which to understand what is happening, and most importantly, how to return to a place of calm.
So let’s explore what’s happening in our physiology
Let’s start with the Vagus Nerve
Polyvagal Theory (or Polyvagal Therapy) refers to the role of the vagus nerve in the regulation of or emotions, social connection and responses to fear. The vagus nerve (or cranial nerve X) is the longest cranial nerve in the body running from the brainstem to the colon. It's our main parasympathetic nerve which controls many of functions including, importantly, the slowing of heart rate.
With both sensory and motor fibres it connects the brain to all of the major organs and carries information about pain, touch, temperature, heart function, respiratory and gut function. This nerve carries information from the body to the brain giving it constant information about the state of your physical experiences.
Polyvagal Theory focuses on the structure and function of the two branches of the vagus cranial nerve, so imagine thousands of fibres organised in two separate bundles, which are Dorsal Vagal (shut down state) and Ventral Vagal (social and engaged state). We will go into more depth below, please keep reading and find out which one resonates most with you.
“There is no such thing as a 'bad' response; there are only adaptive responses."
Dr. Stephen Porges (Polyvagal Theory)
Polyvagal Theory introduces us to three key states within the body (that affect our interactions with ourselves and others):
Dorsal Vagal - immobilisation: cues of a life-threat
Understanding your Dorsal Vagal shut-down freeze response (trauma)
Dorsal Vagal is a wholly depressed and deactivated state controlled by the oldest system in the brain which developed some 500M years ago and is part of the parasympathetic system. Dorsal Vagal is another way of describing the collapse, immobilisation or ‘beyond freeze’ response when we perceive a life or death level threat. You can look at it as a primal survival strategy, all our energy gets mobilised to survive and our mind and body go into conservation mode. When the sympathetic system is too aroused the Dorsal branch of the vagus nerve can shut our entire nervous system down and we go into a freeze state. Feeling (chronically) stressed for prolonged periods, illness, accidents, grief, assault or having grown up with childhood trauma, at times makes our body get stuck in dorsal vagal complex.
Not everyone who suffers from stress (a lifetime or temporarily) experiences Dorsal Vagal shutdown. This is where unresolved trauma (something that had a wounding impact on you) and unhealed emotional pain comes in… Your body might be in a constant state of hyper-vigilance, and uncapable of finding the deep rest that comes from feeling safe, and therefore unable to find its way back to a regulated nervous system.
There are various emotional and psychological impacts of moving through Dorsal Vagal:
One of the main symptoms of Dorsal Vagal collapse is fatigue of the autonomic nervous system, a severe, disabling form of (chronic) exhaustion.
Dorsal Vagal itself is a state of complete collapse, going limp or shutting down, that comes with an inability to move. The desire to flight (run away) or fight (angry response to perceived danger) is overshadowed by a sense of immobilization coming from dorsal vagal activation.
We might experience numbness, dissociation (being physically present, but ‘not-quite-there’), depression and insomnia.
When we enter Dorsal Vagal our heart rate is lowered, our muscle tone decreases and we have much lower energy levels. Digestive problems and nausea are also common.
We feel completely drained, without energy to engage with the world or the people around us. We might still be able to perform our necessary daily responsibilities, but we neglect our own emotional and physical needs, and towards those arounds us we do the bare minimum (social shutdown).
Mentally, we can’t think clearly, it’s hard to find the words to express ourselves and concentration takes huge amounts of effort.
It can look like a “faux death response”, where our body gets frozen or numb, conserving all of our energy to keep alive (running our basic bodily functions) yet shut down everything else. In extreme cases, we might faint.
People often describe it as being in a black space, like an endless void, all alone, limp and without any energy.
As we move out of a freeze episode and our body starts to ‘wake-up’, feelings of shame, hopelessness and helplessness are common. We need to move up the Polyvagal Ladder (see below) and move up through the fight-flight state. This can be scary (as you might become angry or anxious), but keep going, otherwise you risk going back into shutdown.
Please remember that this is your body trying to self-protect. You don’t actively choose this, and it is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a natural response, so remember to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. Understanding the roots (your stress responses and trauma that’s stored in your body, messing with your ability to self-regulate) and reduce the current symptoms is the way ahead.
An example of Dorsal Vagal - ‘let’s give up’.
Ever had this experience…? You’ve been running yourself ragged for ages with the frantic juggle of work, a young family and ageing parents, you’ve been fighting off a bug for what seems like forever and getting up in the mornings is becoming more and more of a struggle. You’ve been in a state of functional freeze for ages, where you seemed fine on the outside and able to perform your duties, but crash into exhaustion and numbness as soon as the critical stuff is done.
But recently you find yourself becoming more and more distracted at work, productivity is going down and you never quite feel like you’re on top of anything. No time to rest, no space to think, you seem to be constantly irritated by everyone and you begin to doubt the point of any of it, your mood gets lower by the day, you struggle for energy and the post lunch slump seems to last all afternoon these days. You feel so overwhelmed, you notice yourself shutting down emotionally and physically, you don’t want to socialise anymore. A deep wish to disconnect from the world arises.
Frustration turns into hopelessness, hopelessness into despair and you don’t even realise that you’re just running life on autopilot. You feel numb, uninterested in anything that used to give you joy, you’re starting to wonder if you’re depressed and if only you could just disappear. You’re not really there, just a somewhat monotone existence that quite honestly has begun to feel a bit pointless and would much rather just take to your bed and sleep for a year…
Dorsal Vagal treatment and (somatic) exercises: How to melt and become unfrozen? Let’s find your safety cues.
The best thing that will move you out of Dorsal Vagal is self-compassion and self-care. Here’s a list of things that will help:
Hum (yes, that thing you used to do as a kid, humming along with a song that’s playing in your head). Don’t be surprised if this brings up tears, this is a good sign.
Very gentle movement, like rocking your body back and forth. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for bringing calm. Making circular movements with your wrists and then your entire arms is nice too, to signal to your body that it can move and is no longer stuck.
Reach out to people you feel safe with. Co-regulation, the reciprocal connection between your nervous system and that of someone who cares about you and is in a Ventral Vagal state, is a wonderful way to move up the Polyvagal Ladder (see images below). Pets are great for this!
Make sure your environment, think lightning, sound, smells, sudden proximity of others etc, is not overstimulating and causing a negative impact on you. Create an environment where you feel safe in, and then become mindfully present to the loveliness of life again.
Gargling: moving water through your mouth while making a loud gurgling sound. This activates your vocal cords which in turn stimulates your vagus nerve.
Keep your body warm.
Vagus nerve ear massage (auricular ear release): Put your finger in your ear, behind the eardrum (without going inside the eardrum), pull backwards and move your finger in circular movements. Do these exercises for both ears. You might notice a difference in elasticity, restrictedness or tenderness for each ear. A sigh, swallow or yawn could be triggered, which is a sign of relaxation. Another technique is to gentle pulling down on your ear lobes. The vagus nerve sends a branch to the ears, which is one of the only external places in the body where we can stimulate the vagus nerve.
Go for a walk outside, ideally in nature and notice things that are of a specific colour (like blue or green), or a specific shape (like rectangular or round). Orient yourself to where you are, and in this way your body and mind become one again.
Hydration, drink plenty of (luke-warm) water.
Sit or sleep with a weighted blanket. Quality sleep.
Listen to sounds or music that bring calm and relaxation like birdsong, sound baths, or music.
Draw, doodle or do colouring-in to signal to your brain you are safe and there is no threat.
Take regular breaks to check-in with your body.
Somatic exercise: Rub the palms of your hand together, as if washing your hands. Notice sensations in your body. Place base of your warm palms over your eyes, apply gentle pressure, cupping forehead with your fingers. Hold for 10-30 seconds. Cup chin with your hands (palms on chin, fingers along cheeks), and bend neck slightly forward to relax. Hold 10 seconds. To finish, place one hand on heart and one on belly. Breathe out through mouth and notice if you feel calmer.
Somatic exercise: Run a finger along your lips, circling around the mouth, as we’ve got parasympathetic fibres in there which are stimulated with touch.
Breathe deeply and slowly, making sure your diaphragm moves up and down. Make the out-breath a few seconds longer compared to the in-breath.
Talking therapy (especially somatic experiencing). Please request a free Discovery Call with us, we’d love to hear from you.
Reflect and get some ideas for yourself about what might calm you down.
Activation / Sympathetic nervous system Response - mobilisation: cues of danger
Next up is the state of Activation or the Sympathetic Response. Developed in the brain some 400M years ago and linked to our relationship between movement and survival, this is where the body goes into action when deciding whether to fight the sabre tooth tiger and have it for supper or run for your life. It’s part of the sympathetic nervous system and otherwise known as the fight (anger), flight (anxiety) or fawn (people please) response.
Physically, heart rate and blood pressure are increased, as is muscle tone.
Emotionally we might experience anger, irritation and frustration as a fight response or panic, anxiety and worry as a flight or fawn response.
Feeling as if we’re switched on all the time and can’t relax. We feel hyper-vigilant and our body is alert at all times.
We engage with behaviours to distract ourselves, instead of taking responsability. This might be due to overwhelm, exhaustion, catastrophic thinking, brain fog, repetitive thoughts and anxiety.
The world and its inhabitants feel dangerous, and we experience an urge to protect ourselves from harm.
We need some element of sympathetic response to engage actively with life, but for our purposes when we refer to this type of activation we are assuming it is a dysregulated potentially unhelpful state. Let’s look at two examples of when our nervous system becomes dysregulated and our instinct is to go into combat mode or run for the hills, while we lose our ability to stay calm and present.
Two examples of Activation / Sympathetic Response:
Picture this: You’re having a conversation with your nearest and dearest (much loved teenager/toddler/partner) about something they promised to do but haven’t. Things are ticking along fine until they start making excuses and say or do something that gets your back up. You’re triggered into feeling irritated and you start to lose patience. Your voice raises and you’re getting signals from them that they’re just not listening anymore which, despite your best efforts to keep engaging with them, just ramps up the irritation and your impulse is to fly off the handle. Things get even more heated as they argue back until it’s all just too much and you have to leave the room because you just can’t deal with them and their ‘unreasonable’ behaviour anymore. Can you recognise the fight and flight responses?
Or this one..? You’re due to give a presentation, you’ve worked hard but the stakes are high and you’re not overly confident that you’ve prepared enough. When it comes to it, all eyes are on you and you can feel your heart beginning to race, your voice sounds a little shaky as you begin and you falter and stumble through your presentation, palms getting sweatier, mouth getting drier by the minute and all you really want to do is run for the nearest exit.
How to move out of the sympathetic nervous system (flight & fight), back into a para-sympathetic (calm & social) state? A range of exercises for you:
Grounding, getting barefoot outside, being in nature. Sunlight!
Change your environment, new experiences
Circular breathing
Laugh out loud :)
Sing and chant
Keep a journal
Speak out loud, or voice record your feelings
Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping)
Safe touch and self-hugs
Talking therapy (especially somatic experiencing). Please request a free Discovery Call with us, we’d love to hear from you.
Get moving, gentle and slow physical activity is fine. Rocking, shaking, shivering, stretching, do a dance in the living room. The movement expels the build-up fight-or-flight energy in your body. Then increase the intensity of your exercise to your own liking, but don’t overdo it.
Cold exposure: jump into a cold shower! If that’s a bit tricky, run icy cold water over your wrists. Great to release anxiety.
Somatic exercise: Gently run a (battery-powered) toothbrush along your jaw. The jaw holds lots of tension, and new surprising sensations side-track the brain and bring relaxation.
Somatic exercise: With outstretched arms, push into a wall. Hold your arms at a 90 degrees angle with your body. Push as hard as you can! Great to release anger.
Yawning, a big sigh, tears welling up or a softening in the core of your being are good signs that your nervous system is starting to feel safer and moving towards regulation.
The Polyvagal Ladder - by Deb Dana
Ventral Vagal state - safety, connection and social engagement: cues of safety
Let’s enjoy life with a calm Ventral Vagal nerve
Controlled by the part of our brain that evolved fairly recently in evolutionary terms, some 22M years ago and this is the place of safety when we can connect and engage readily with others. In this state we are curious, calm and centred with a steady heart rate and blood pressure and importantly, usually have full access to our prefrontal cortex for executive function and decision making. Behaviours that we can access when in Ventral Vagal include social communication, self-soothing and calming techniques. Ideally when connecting with others we aim to be centred in Ventral Vagal, so we can co-regulate and remain ‘safe’ ourselves. In this state, we feel safe, grounded, peaceful and content. We are able to ask for help, organise our life, follow through on plans and the world and its inhabitants feel safe. Our breathe is full, we sleep well and our heart rate is stable.
Ventral Vagal supports social engagement, which is in direct contrast with Dorsal Vagal which moves us towards defensive immobilisation and shut-down.
As soon as we move out of Ventral Vagal we are becoming dysregulated so our priority, if we want to be able to respond to life with choice and ease, is to become regulated again so we have full access to our mental and emotional resources. Have a look at the list under Dorsal Vagal Shutdown, and see which ones resonate with you.
Explore seven simple but profound ways to calm and regulate your nervous system here:
What we can appreciate when looking at these three states is that they (particularly the Dorsal Vagal and Activation / Sympathetic Response) are ‘old’ in an evolutionary sense. They are responses of our ‘lizard brain’. As part of the lizard brain they are involuntary, they don’t involve the more newly evolved prefrontal cortex which, in evolutionary terms came much later, and is responsible for that efficient cognitive function that is so highly valued in our society. The part that enables us to have perspective, to make rational decisions, to organise, to choose our words and myriad other things that fall into the realm of ‘functioning in life’.
An few important final thoughts…
Develop awareness of your nervous system. Noticing when we are becoming dysregulated is a helpful practice to cultivate. The more subtle our awareness of how and when we move between these states, the more likely we are to maintain choice and agency and the less likely we are to be triggered into unhelpful states.
Where do you go under stress? I’d like to invite you to reflect on your own habitual response to stress or threat. When under pressure do you have a tendency to fight, flight or fawn or do you shut down and freeze? What situations are most likely to trigger those responses in you? Are particular environments or people more likely to make you feel unsafe?
It’s all about self-compassion. Please remind yourself that this entire process takes place below the level of our consciousness. There is no point where we make a deliberate decision to move from one Polyvagal state into the next. These are protection mechanisms, and may understanding yourself through this lens of your autonomic nervous system bring self-kindness and self-compassion. I wish you happiness.
Would you like professional support on a one-to-one basis to learn to regulate your own autonomic nervous system, and develop a more stable, resilient way of being?
Leave your details here, and we’ll be in touch for a free Discovery Call about working together:
